If I could do it over again…

I was such a naughty kid.

I slung rock-filled mudballs and fruit at boys, hocked loogies at cars as they zipped under the bridge near my elementary school, caught baby toads and hid them under the rugs in our house with my sister, and threw outdoor cockroaches and earthworms at girls I didnʻt like.

If this isnʻt bad enough, I concocted a plan to make money and enlisted the help of my sisters and a few friends and we created our own business called, “Girls Inc.”

We then went door to door asking for money in exchange for goods and services.

One summer we asked people if they wanted to buy tickets to our “concert.”  We sold handwritten scraps of paper to several neighbors for $10/pop and proceeded to “breakdance” and lip-sync for a full 20 minutes.  My mom demanded that we give the people a refund afterward.

Another summer we stood by the side of the road holding signs that read: Car Wash $5.00.  We got two or three interested people, but once they found out we were washing their cars with laundry detergent and brillo pads, they very angrily asked to see our mom and she forced us to give them back their money.

Still another summer, we went around gathering all the available flowering weeds and bougenvilia in the vicinity and made haku leis out of them.  We secured the weed-flowers and mock orange leaves using raffia and sold them for $25 each.  (Yes, people actually bought them.)  You guessed it, my mom screamed at us to return the money.

There are many, many, many other examples, but these three are my favorites.

It took me years to see that my mom was just really embarrassed.  We embarrassed her so much that she would greet the neighbors with, “Iʻm sorry for whatever it is that my daughter did today.”

So…

If I could do it over again, I wouldnʻt.  After all, everyone knows that embarrassing their parents is one of the best parts of being a kid.