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So, the tune to Barbra Streisand’s “Memories” gets stuck in my head every time I catch a glimpse of my breastesess in the mirror and, being the kook that I am, I rewrote the song lyrics to match my lovely lady lumps. It’s something I’ve done since I was a kid- just for kicks. (Not write songs for my lumps, but write s- ah, you know what? forget it.)

Anyway, I know this one’s a little personal but I figured, eh, what the hell.

Here’s my version. I call it: Mammaries.

Please feel free to sing along with me…

*ahemahemahrrrm.* Mimimimimi…

I swear one day, they were nice
I can’t recognize my mammaries
I miss the way they were
In my old pictures,
They were so perky, round and fine
Now they droop just like my mother’s
They’re not the way they were
Could it be, that I breastfed all my kids with them?
Or has age caused their decline?
If I could go back and do it all again
I’d wear bras, guarantee
Mammaries, they’re just hanging there but yet,
Hubby says he really loves them-
Swears he likes my silhouette.
Still, it’s my old boobs
I will remember
Yes I will remember…
The way they were…
The way they were…

Ladies and Gentlemen, Babs has left the building!