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  • DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
  • FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
  • FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him.
  • GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
  • HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
  • INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
  • OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings
  • PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
  • SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
  • STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
  • TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
  • TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

*found on the net