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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected
unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,
job history, lineage, and current medical report
from your doctor.

1. NAME  _____________________ DATE OF BIRTH_________
2. HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT ______ I.Q _____G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # ______________________________
   DRIVERS LICENSE # ______________________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK_____________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS ______________________________________
 CITY/STATE _____________________ ZIP__________________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?_________
   If No, EXPLAIN______________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married_______
8. Do you own a van? ______
   A truck with oversized tires? ______
   Awaterbed? _______
   Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?______
   A tattoo?  Of?  _______________________________________________
(If "yes" to any of #8,discontinue application and leave premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?______________
__________________________________________________________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER"
mean to you?_____________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________

12. Church you attend ______________________________________
How often do you attend___________________________________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father,
mother and priest/rabbi/minister?
___________________________________________________________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely.
    ALL answers are confidential
    (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
    a) If I were shot the last place on my body
       I would want wounded is ___________________________
    b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken
       is my _____________________________________________
    c) A woman's place is in the____________________________
    d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask
       me about is _________________________________________
    e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice
       about her Is:_______________________________________
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue.
Leave premises keeping your head low, and running in a
serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
__________________________________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND
CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH,
DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON
KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years
for processing.  You will be notified in writing you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write
(since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.)
If your application is rejected, you will  be notified by two
gentlemen weaning white ties and carrying violin cases.
(You might want to watch your back)

*found on the net*


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