Found this on the net:

OLD IS WHEN…Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”

OLD IS WHEN…Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

OLD IS WHEN…Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

OLD IS WHEN…You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

OLD IS WHEN…You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.

OLD IS WHEN…”Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.

OLD IS WHEN…”Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.

OLD IS WHEN…An “all nighter” means not getting up to pee!